Hey guys.
It's been a minute since I posted. I've had a couple of really hard months. Ever feel like you know what's true but you avoid it like the plague? That's kind of where I'm
At right now. Sometimes things seem to get better but in reality they are actually falling apart. New meaning to opposition in all things I suppose.
Truth is truth, but sometimes I want to be in my own world, dealing with the problems of the characters I write about. At least they defeat their enemies and their Goliaths. I feel like I will never be enough to defeat the things I struggle with. He helps, and the Atonement works toward defeating those things as well, but they always seem to crop up again. In a fantasy world, the hero fights through the darkness and once they defeat it, it never comes back for them. Pretty sure that is the main difference between fantasy and reality. Is it any wonder that I want to live in fantasy?
Really though, life is a struggle, and the struggle is hard and it hurts. And sometimes we feel like there is no point in life anymore and consider something that is a terrible option. I have a friend who took that option a couple weeks ago. When we can't see an end to the pain and suffering, suicide seems to be the only thing left. Reality is, suicide leaves a dark hole in the lives of people who love you. Love and support are key factors of trying to become better, and when we choose to be around those who love us instead of isolating, we are talking one tiny step out of the darkness.
For as many times as I have considered that option, there have been a thousand things and people that have been there to remind me that things will be ok. I want you all to know that I love you. And I know that God loves you too. You are worth so much more than you know, and you have helped me to understand my worth as well. Please don't let suicide be an option. If you are feeling dark and hopeless, know that I am here and that my life will meet be the same without you. Call me anytime you need me.
Always,
Leone
